Layer 14: Nothingness
by A Grilled Fish
Summary: A nihilistic and postmodernist tale of Lain with dark humour.


**layer 14: nothingness**

Lain Iwakura didn't expect to be kidnapped by aliens wearing red and green sweaters when she woke up that morning.

Which was all well and good, because she wasn't kidnapped by aliens wearing red and green sweaters.

Lain woke up to see her father's face. Her father usually ignored her, so she was extremely surprised when her father began excitedly shouting when she woke up.

"Lain is up! Lain is up! Now we can play together! YAYYYY!" Lain was a tough girl, and she was very used to strange things happening. She wasn't surprised when her father began shouting; she had assumed before that it was only a matter of time before the rest of her family went insane. Her sister already made strange beeping noises. Lain's father continued shouting.

"Oh Lain, I'm so excited! Now that you've set up such a cool computer system in your room, we can play online games with eachother all day long!" Lain chose to ignore her father, and began getting dressed for school. Her father was completely oblivious to Lain's ignorance, and continued shouting.

"Yes! We can play all sorts of games! I like first person shooters myself, but maybe you would prefer third person shooters! It doesn't matter! We have so much power now!" Lain exited the room, and walked downstairs to have breakfast. Her father followed doggedly.

"Fun! Fun! Fun!" he shouted, and he suddenly keeled over from hyperventilation. When he woke up later, he forgot about his temporary insanity and had a make-out session with his wife.

While Lain was walking to school, she saw that the shadows were bleached with strange colors. She was used to this. She also saw suspicious red laser beams pointing at her, as if she were being sniped. She was also used to this. Suddenly, the creepy Masami flew out of the sky, blocking her path. Lain sighed.

"You again? You're going to make me late for school! And could you button your shirt?"

"LAIN. ADMIT THAT I AM GOD," Masami boomed. He smiled sickly and held Lain by the hair. Before he could continue, a police car pulled up, and two policemen stepped out, shutting the door. They would have made a very cool impression on Lain and Masami had one of them not accidentally shut the door on their finger. This policeman, who happened to be named Terry, began swearing very loudly and quickly pulled out his gun with his other hand. Terry promptly riddled the car door with bullet holes. This did not help his crushed finger. The other policeman, who was named George, pulled the door open for him, allowing Terry to jerk his throbbing finger away from the source of pain. They spun around to face Masami, trying to retain their lost coolness.

"FREEZE!" George shouted, pointing his gun at Masami, who was floating in midair. Masami let go of Lain's hair, stopped floating, and landed on the ground.

"What do you want with me, the all-powerful being of the Wired?" Masami asked slimily.

"You're under arrest for sexually assaulting Lain Iwakura on multiple occasions. And you're just plain creepy," answered Terry.

"I see that I shall have to...deal...with you," Masami said evilly, raising his right hand in an attempt to make wires pop out of the ground and fatally impale the policemen. However, Masami's eyes were drawn to Lain, who was staring straight at him. Masami shuddered involuntarily.

"No matter where you go, everyone is connected," Lain stated simply. Masami pulled out a gun and shot himself. The policemen, who were used to these strange things happening in Lain's town, simply threw Masami's dead body in the trunk and drove away. Lain continued walking to school.

Meanwhile, the evil Lain had already arrived at school, and was busy teasing Alice.

"So, does anyone know who Alice likes? Who Alice thinks about when she's lying in bed? Who Alice is really fantasizing about when she's looking at Sephiroth hentai?"

"No! Shut up! Stop!" Alice yelled, covering her ears. Lain snickered evilly.

"It couldn't be that _teacher_, could it? Could it? Huh?" Alice glanced around nervously and cried,

"No! This isn't like you, Lain! Shut up!" Lain sneered.

"So it's true, isn't it. But don't worry about it. I recorded you...er...playing...with yourself while you were fantasizing about him, and sent the video to the teacher. I'm sure he'll love the part where you scream his name in ecstasy." The evil Lain began laughing. Alice shook her head vigorously, flinging tears onto the floor.

"No! You're lying! Shut up!" However, Lain ignored Alice's protests and only laughed harder. The real Lain arrived on the scene.

"Hey, stupid!" the real Lain yelled. The evil Lain looked up.

"Oh, it's you," the evil Lain muttered disappointedly.

"Who are you talking to, Lain? Are you insane?" Alice demanded, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Oh, it's nothing," the evil Lain replied regretfully, turning back to Alice. "Come on, we'll be late for class." The real Lain sighed haughtily, and invisibly followed the pair into the classroom.

The teacher didn't care that Lain was late. In fact, the teacher didn't care about any of his students, except Alice. Ever since he had been sent that mysterious video, all he ever thought about was Alice.

"Alice, I'm disappointed in you. We missed you in class," the teacher said, smiling at the sight of his beautiful Alice. "Please, sit down. Oh, and you, Lain, the crazy girl, you can go kill yourself for all anyone else cares." Alice sat a desk happily, and the evil Lain shuddered with anger.

'How dare he talk to me like that? How dare people think of me like I don't exist? Well I'll show them. They don't belong in this world anyway.' The real Lain was fed up with the scene the evil Lain was trying to put on, and threw her out of the classroom. She took a seat, and promptly started playing with her cellphone.

"I'll get you back for this," the evil Lain muttered angrily, rubbing her head. Lain had thrown her into a concrete wall.

The evil Lain crouched in the bushes, waiting for the real Lain to pass by. As Lain walked past, the evil Lain suddenly jumped out of her ambush and threw Lain's bear suit over her. The evil Lain tied her up tightly. Nobody could hear the real Lain's muffled screams. The evil Lain snickered evilly, and carried the real Lain to the local coffee shop. The employees paid no attention to the wiggling bear suit that the evil Lain was carrying. Like everyone else, they were used to these weird things, especially because 'weird' is an acronym for 'Wired,' which was becoming an integral part of their society. The evil Lain locked the real Lain in a bathroom stall, and skipped home happily.

"Yes! Now that I've rid myself of that stupid real Lain, I can be free to poison the minds of Alice and her teacher, construct a hydrogen bomb to destroy this whole stupid town, and laugh evilly about it afterwards!" However, the evil Lain had already unknowingly accomplished her first goal. After class, the teacher had promptly swept Alice away to Hawaii where they lived pleasurably and scandalously for the rest of their lives. The evil Lain quickly heard about the incident, as she was always connected to the Wired. She immediately began work on the hydrogen bomb.

The hairdresser named Barnabas near the coffee shop had no suspicion that he would be blown to pieces by a hydrogen bomb only moments after he had started eating his chicken sandwich.

**the end **


End file.
